detriments | (no subject)

[He clears his throat the whole time the phone rings.]

Christine? I hope I'm not interrupting --

[You know it's modest poise, talking that talk.]

[Guess who isn't having a very good day. For once.]

What is it, Frederick.

I -- ah. [He's punched off-guard, hardly anticipating that she might not be as giddy as he.] I just. Wanted to hear your voice again.

[oh, god. Can you hear her rolling her eyes? Well. No, you can't.]

I'm busy.

Too busy for me?

[There's a tremble of hope in his voice, something reminiscent of his old high school days. Oh dear.]

[Oh. Dear.]

I'm working, Frederick.

[Guess what's more important than you.]

Oh -- ah. I -- [He doesn't know what to say, having not anticipated this scenario.] I suppose you could... Call me back at a more... Convenient time.

Or you could just tell me what this is about.

It really isn't anything important. [He coughs, his raw vulnerability awakened.] I just really quite needed to hear your voice again.

[He thought it was a romantic impulse.]

You needed to hear my voice.

[This is... as flat as Christine gets. Please don't tell her he thinks this is supposed to be romantic.]

You've heard my voice. Is that all?

Uh, yes. [Lacking any other defense, he opts for honesty.] I thought you might appreciate the sentiment.

Ah.

Okay, then. Goodbye?

[Sigh.]

Don't call me like this again. [There isn't softness in her voice - just a sort of clinical statement.] It isn't professional and I don't like it. Understood?

[Good. Click.]

Christine Sanford, This is an automated courtesy reminder that due to the threat of hostile intervention, imPorts are required to inform the government before leaving the country. It is not safe or recommended to travel abroad without government knowledge. Please note that your status will designate AWOL if travel without governmental knowledge becomes habitual. As this is the first instance, you will not be reprimanded for your actions. However, this is your first and only warning regarding the matter. Thank you, United States Department of Defense

[ew DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO]

To: Christine Stanford
Message: I must have more of you.

[Join the club, etc. etc.]

To: Christine Stanford
Message: Are you satisfied?

[Come find out.]

[Later, that evening, and after his run-in with Karla...]

Christine? It's me -- don't hang up. I know you were attached to Montoya, is that what you wanted to hear? All right?

[Her instinctive answer? What makes you think I'd want to hear anything from you?

But she keeps it to herself, letting silence motion in the call between them.]

It wasn't exactly a secret.

I know. I'm acknowledging that this hardly clandestine information was, indeed, accessible and factual. For a narcissistic individual prone to psychotic episodes, you were apparently very upset.

[Emphasis on apparently. Appearances. He knew that game was afoot.]

That being said -- well. I had lost someone here, briefly. [Kenzi.] It is stressful.

Edited 2014-07-13 01:09 (UTC)

[Christ. If she ever expected him to speak to her like a normal person, today doesn't seem to be when it's finally going to happen. She wants to hiss at him to stop treating her like a patient, but he's the one being ludicrous, not her. So she lets him keep slipping.]

Do you expect me to believe that makes you any more sympathetic toward me?

It's exactly sympathy, Christine. Casebook example. [Sympathy -- being able to feel for someone who has gone, or is going through, the same crisis that the subject has felt.

It was empathy that Chilton had trouble with, perhaps because of his own narcissistic tendencies.]

I know how that -- that hollowing loss can feel.

[He isn't the best at extending a humane hand, but in contrast to his earlier behavior, he is trying here.]

[It gets her to stay quiet for a moment, if nothing else. She looks ahead, behind her communicator, at a case of cigarettes. She wants to pick one up, start smoking.

She tells herself this conversation has nothing to do with it.]

... How did you find out?

One of her friends had contacted me. They had a streamlined system in place, as I understand it, in case either were pulled out. Then the other would know. [A beat.] A series of check points, I suppose. He was confident, and correct, in the conclusion.

[Another beat.]

I didn't even know about a system. It wasn't an easy -- ah. Revelation.

[Despite a few kisses, Chilton was not as close to Kenzi as Gil was.]

[and again she's silent. Taking his words in, seeing if there's anything there she can actually believe. If he's fishing for her own sympathy, well - Christine's certain he knows a lot better than that by now. Since he's always so incisive in his diagnostic of her psyche.]

And now you're alone.

And now I have other people. [It's a firm correction. He won't elaborate on his relationship with Danger, of course, but an idle reference does no harm.] And Kenzi had returned, but -- [His ego couldn't take the rivalry with Gil, which was purely one-sided. And she had shot him in the paintball tournament, at the very place where they had their first lunch date. The symbolism was read into.] I'm a psychiatrist. I know when someone's emotional relationship has more substance than not.

[He still considered her a friend. Even if she had shot him.]

Some people are psychologically prone to committed, even ironclad, relationships. The settlers, they settle into a long term investment. And others -- you and me, Christine -- we are survivors. We gain, we suffer, then we move on.

[So incisive, indeed.

After a deliberate, careful pause, her tone softens. There's nothing apparently forged about it. He could read into it as a genuine display of emotion, as collected as it is.]

Did you miss me?

[A beat -- he's surprised by the question, though he knows he shouldn't be. He wants her tone to be sincere, he wants it so badly.]

Ah.

[He swallows.]

I did, yes. [Beat.] Especially since we had -- gotten so close.

[Their fights, their exposures.]

I'd be lying if I - if I said I didn't miss you, too. For a while.

[And once again, silence. Her every hesitation is timed perfectly. She wants him to believe her, wants to see if somehow sympathy can be turned into something else. He'd had the upper hand on her, and she wants it back. Even if it's only in a temporary truce of hearts.

Who knew that letting Renee go would just throw her back into the same vicious cycles. Lies, sex, manipulation. She's lost so much with one person, and now she wants everything else back.]

I don't expect you to believe me.

Did you? [He tries for a wry chuckle -- it's caught in his throat, burning by degree as his pulse quickens. He's hooked. Chilton was always a lonely sort of fellow (something that Christine, adept manipulator, knew well); deep beneath his layers of pretension and superiority complexes, he craved companionship. He craved interesting companionship.]

I -- well, I don't disbelieve you.

[A double negative. He was hesitant in his steps, but he was still walking to where Christine was leading him.]

It's nice. To be able to talk to you again.

Edited 2014-07-13 01:55 (UTC)

[She smiles to herself, no longer thinking about the cigarettes. Her smile fades, and her tone resumes.]

I wish things had turned out differently between us.

[and they would have, if he hadn't been so readily jealous. If she hadn't been so easily dismissive.

Oh, if only they weren't terrible people.]

I never meant to - [get him killed? That may be true. All she wanted was - again - that upper hand. The threat of power would have been good enough, up until Gideon spilled the entire fucking cup.] I never got to apologize for what happened to you.

I never told anyone. [It seemed an appropriate reassurance, especially at the forefront of a proposed apology.] About your... Instigation. No one else knows.

[He couldn't help it, this flirtation with peril. And when it came to Christine -- she was so vicious, so lively. Describing her as passionate was something of an understatement.

How could he help himself?]

But I'll accept an apology nonetheless.

[He says it with a careful smile.]

[Well, then.]

I'm sorry, Frederick. For what it's worth.

It is definitely worth something. [He whispers it, sincerity flushed against his tongue. He's sold on the idea that this is all authentic, that she regrets her actions, that she missed him. They have both convinced him of that.]

Perhaps we -- [He falters.] Perhaps we could meet up? Have a drink? Bygones, and what not.

[Part of her is so satisfied - not just that he's apparently believing but, but that she was right about him all along. Of course he'd take advantage of her in a time of need. Just when she was so alone, so full of regret.

Isn't he just the knight in shining armor, coming to her rescue.]

I'd like that. [Her tone remains quiet, neutral, careful. She wants him to see her deep in thought.] Maybe when I come back to Heropa.

[She's right about him for the most part; and in this case, his own sincerity mingles with his moral ambiguity, and his narcissistic inclinations. Ever the predator-scavenger, Chilton senses a wound --

-- And thinks it's fair to use the situation, as long as he does some good along the way. And mending this bridge, wasn't that good? Wasn't it righteous?

He had convinced himself of a lot today, both with and without Christine's help.]

Coming back, to visit? Or to stay?

[He remembers that she had left.]

To stay, I think. I'm done with Maurtia Falls. There was hardly anything keeping me grounded here, really.

Other than Renee.

[So it's not so much a fact that she wants to be strung down to a place. It's just that she detests the thought of being alone.]

[He picks up on that disdain, that fear, of loneliness.]

I'm Registered. [Meaning, he could use the portation devices between the three cities.] I could see you tonight, if you -- [wanted] needed.

No. No, that's all right, [she huffs, not quite a laugh, something almost painful to her, aware of how dark her situation really is.] I think I need some time alone for now.

[a lie. She just doesn't want to see him so suddenly.]

But thank you.

[Her words jolt him, cutting into the spell spun; he questions his conviction, in that moment, questions what he really wants from this. Questions what he could get himself into, questions what he stands to lose.]

Right, of course.

[A whiff of the aloof in his tone, as if he awoken to the direction he was stepping ad sidesteps. Given half the chance, he can pull himself out of manipulation.]

No, no, that's right. You have the details to tend to -- both emotionally, and for the move. [A beat.] I'll see you in Heropa.

Thank you for understanding, Frederick.

[She tells herself she has time. More than enough to wrap him around her fingers again, seeing as how dangerously close he came falling into that trap just now. She could have had him, but then she'd be playing her cards too soon. It'd be too easy for the both of them, wouldn't it?

No, she wants him to wait. Wants him to question, wants him to end up with a puzzle.]

... I'll see you soon.

[He takes this warning to heart -- it's true, that he came close to entrapment. Much too close. Christine was not someone to underestimate, and from here on out (he informed himself) he would watch for her manipulations. He had to be cautious, now that so much more was at stake. He wasn't going to be bitten twice.]

Yes. If you're inclined for a personal visit -- well, my office hours won't suit you. We can certainly arrange for something. Neutral ground. [A beat.] Until then, Christine. Glad we could talk.

Me too. [Even if she hadn't thought it would steer in this direction - but now she's glad it did. now she has something to entertain herself with again. She produces a soft little smile.]

Take care.

[click.]

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11.29.2013.evening.

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ATTN FROM: DEPT. OF DEFENSE

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07.12.2014

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